Unless this person has had a good amount of therapy and personal growth since the last relationship, a series of broken relationships or marriages may indicate that he or she doesn't know how to have a loving relationship. The person was abused as a child and has not had therapy or done sufficient inner healing work. Without an openness to learning about themselves and you when there is conflict, there is no way to resolve conflict. The person participates in addictions that are unacceptable to you -- smoking, drinking, drugs, addictive eating, gambling, TV and so on.
We all bring our unhealed wounds with us into our primary relationships, often projecting our parents or other caregivers onto our partner. Again, don't expect that you can get the person to change.
Whether it's figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.
Over the many years of working with thousands of people looking to find a committed relationship, I've discovered numerous red flags that may indicate future problems.
Mean-spirited people don’t stop being so in a relationship and may attack your self-esteem by latching on to what they think are flaws in you. Now how much of a blow these red flags deal to your relationship is down to you.
You must decide on what is and isn’t acceptable and stick to it, and of course follow your gut.
It won’t let up and the longer you’re with them, the more entrenched they become in your life, is the worse they’ll get, often using criticism as a chief way of getting at you. They of course can be overcome, but failure to acknowledge these issues in the first place and openly deal with them will cause big problems.Ignoring these gives the person a lifeline to expand upon these issues and the damage that can be dealt with this lifeline may have long lasting repercussions.The key with a red flag is that whatever it is, it’s something that alerts you to other potential issues or that normally you would be wary or not accepting of.If we want to have more successful relationships and minimise some of the pain we suffer in pursuit of love, we must learn to be more aware and pay attention to the red flags.If there’s red flag issues, there will be early indicators…we just need to be listening and watching.