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What I intended to do [after leaving Tinder] was to start an app called Merci—it was a social network for young girls where they could share photos and converse—it was basically going to be this chat room of positivity. ” It was kind of my premise of a platform for online accountability and kindness, and his suggestion of going back into the dating space, is where Bumble came from. Are there other ways you think gender roles play out in dating apps?
For young women right now, we work crazy hours, and we’re busy, and we’re exhausted, and we’re also motived and ambitious.
How do you think it’s changed the way things work in the online dating world? On Bumble, by having the lady make the first move, [the man] doesn’t feel rejection or aggression—he feels flattered. just like a bar, you’re never going to see a sign on your favorite bar on your block that says “only for hookups tonight” or “don’t come in if you don’t want to go home with someone.” It’s a place to meet people, it’s a place to be, and whatever you want to do with your interactions there is really up to you.
For the first time in the tech space, the woman has been encouraged to be on an even playing field. That one little shift, that one little change, makes all the difference. To say these apps are solely for sexual encounters or for one-night stands, that takes two.
In terms of how these conversations play out, how women feel on the [app] and how they feel about themselves on the dates, it’s really crazy the level of respect they’ve garnered from the men, and the way the men behave in such a different way. It guides the conversation in a very different way, and that sets the tone for that conversation, that relationship, that friendship, whatever that is, to be a confident one. If a woman and a man chose to turn this app into a sexual endeavor, they wanted that and that’s completely O. There is some speculation about how hyper-attractive some of your users are, particularly in the beginning of a new batch. We are not by any means trying to show a certain type of person before another type of person.
I always found it bizarre or strange that there was this unwritten set of rules around how a woman could interact with a man, in terms of starting a conversation.
While a man traditionally is always expected to make the first move, he risks rejection in a real way.