Today's post is about what you must give up to date a narcissist. He was so captivated by his own beauty that he stared at his reflection for days, forgetting to eat, drink, and sleep so that he died.The Narcissus myth persists today because it speaks to a self-centered stage of human development that characterizes many people in our culture.He has chipped away at my sense of self for 2 years and I find I no longer recongize myself.I have lost friends over him as well as a job (he called repeatedly, just to say "Hi", even when I told him my boss had told me no more personal phone calls - of course he couldn't respect that, and I was sacked). You describe so well how easy it is to get pulled in a person with these tendencies.Narcissists can be male or female and exist as a type of personality in every culture, race, profession, and religion.So the pool, no pun intended here, from which you can choose is vast. The less lethal form is the classic narcissist, the person who needs to belittle you to bolster a fragile self-esteem.
He doesnt want to be powerless agian in a family relationship, so this will be his tendency. And, sad for the beginnigs that gave him so much pain that is has put on you, now. Every sharing frees your pain a little more, while it helps another. So, if the childhood for one of the mates was very dysfunctional, there will be problems.They have to be emotionally hurting a lot to get help.Moreover, when they start to feel better, they go right back to the reflecting pool to admire themselves.No matter how much you appreciate their psychological vulnerabilities, their put-downs sting all the same.Classic narcissists rarely go to therapy on their own.
But, slowly you learn that you because you are a couple, you and he will take on the dysfunctional relationship between him and his parenrs (in his mind).