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ELIZABETH: I think we were able to bond over a shared experience a really poor experience. [PHONE RINGS] STEPHANIE: I called John a bunch of times over the past couple of years actually. STEPHANIE: He never returned any of my calls or emails. And I realized that sites like Ok Cupid and make it super easy for men with yellow fever to target their prey because all you have to do is click on the Asian box in the search engine and then bam, there it is. PJ: There’s like Orthodox Jewish women, it’s a total diversity of options of people. When you go to Asian women it’s mostly women standing in fields.
SUZANNE: He just had a way of taking really ordinary little situations and just making them fun and playful and was very thoughtful with like making me breakfast, would hide my favorite snacks in my purse and was just a really sweet, really sweet, loyal person and he was actually one of the best boyfriends I’ve ever had. And he gave her a little shelf for her stuff in his apartment. He even included her in a bunch of his domestic decision-making.
STEPHANIE: John was Scandinavian, muscular, attractive. And when she told him she had to go to the DMV, not only did he offer to come, he made a date out of it. SUZANNE: John was renovating his apartment so we went to CB2 and he was looking for the perfect couch and at one point we had to spoon on various couches to see if they were wide enough for us to spoon on hence they would be appropriate for his apartment.
But when he showed up, she thought, wait, I don’t know anything about who this guy really is. Finally she lets him in, and they have a huge fight. STEPHANIE: At this point, all she knew was that the guy she’d been seeing had been cheating on her with at least four other people. But when she tries to go to his Facebook page, she finds out he’s blocked her. It’s kind of like when a spider meticulously creates its web. ALEX: Coming up after the break how to solve a problem like John. Like look all these girls are really seen as really submissive and just sort of just solely there for your sexual gratification, so like this physical expectation is coupled with this really problematic cultural expectation. Like a huge portion of my messages are from guys going on about my race and my exotic looks and my almond eyes. Special thanks this week to Emma Jacobs and Ashleyanne Krigbaum.
He tells her that she’s the only one he truly loves, that nobody else meant anything to him. And now he was fighting with one of them outside of his apartment. But she remembers the names of a bunch of women she’d seen on his friends list, and she sends a mass-message to all of them saying, watch out. After a storm blows it away, the spider, unfazed, simply begins again. [BREAK ] ALEX: So in the first half of the show ,producer Stephanie Foo was telling the story of a wildly prolific cheater who exclusively targeted Asian women. STEPHANIE: One of the things that struck me reporting this story is that the women that John tricked, they’re all really smart, really successful. STEPHANIE: And it freaked me out, it terrified me as an Asian woman. PJ: That helps me understand and in your case you’re like, “I like girls I can prey on because they’re so easy to prey on.” It’s the associations with it. I mean, I get that not every guy who’s dated an Asian girl is a jerk, right. And then on top of that there are actually all these strangers messaging me, trying to warn me about other guys with yellow fever. A few months ago, a woman I didn’t know saw an innocuous interaction I had with a guy on Twitter. Our theme music is by The Mysterious Breakmaster Cylinder and our ad music is by Build Buildings. And the DVD extras for this episode are available at We’re actually taking next week off to work on a few stories, but we will see you in a couple weeks.